4 Months

I didn't know what being a mom would feel like, nor what it is supposed to feel like. It's been an adventure every day and a whirlwind of missed sleep, cold food, and a lot of pajama wearing. But now that 4 months have passed I can say this:

I am tired. All. The. Time. And that's ok because I'm also in awe of this little human that knows me as "Mom". I'm happy to be tired because that means my daughter is growing up and developing her own personality. Over the past month I've come to the realization that growing up is harder on parents than it is on kids. I go through the back and forth of wanting her to stay little forever and wanting her to grow up faster so we can play together and I can hear her talk and we can share things. {like me and my mom. Hi, Mom!} I know it will come in due time and so I gently remind myself to take each day as a blessing and don't hurry or rush or take anything for granted. 

I'm proud too. Proud that she can roll over and hold her head up. Proud that she's mine. As she gets older I'm sure I won't always be proud, but here's to hoping. Pride in your child(ren) is interesting because it seems like you never know what to expect. You can give them the best tools possible and yet they still have the total ability to mess up. I know that my parents aren't proud of every choice I made growing up but they did the best to support me. I can only imagine how devastated they were when I made poor choices knowing that they "raised me better than that". And it's true. Unfortunately we forget that parenting, like growing up, is a learning process. There's no handbook or class on how to teach your kids morals. There's just you and the kid. But, I digress. I'm currently very proud of my daughter. {Peyton, you can remind me of this moment in 15ish years}. 

I'm so in love with this little girl. I wasn't aware that this much love was possible. Most mornings I watch her sleep when I first wake up and say a little prayer for her. Sometimes it's overwhelming and a single tear {or two} roll down my face. I pray that one day she'll know this feeling. She is my world {and I'm pretty sure she's Brian's too} and I can't imagine what life would be like without her. {Were we really a complete family before this?}

With that, I say, Happy 4 months, PG! I love you more every day and I am so excited to watch you grow even more!

3 Months and Counting....

Welp, we survived! Peyton has had her first official graduation; she is no longer a newborn but rather an infant. Sometimes I wondered if we would make it through the {almost} sleepless nights or if she would survive our {possibly} sub-par parenting skills. But, alas, here we are, 3 months later and everyone is still kicking.

In the past 3 months I think I've learned more about myself as a person than in the last 3 years. Being a mama bear is a real thing. Should anyone dare-decide to criticize or speak poorly of my child, my husband, or my parenting abilities I will eat them alive. Now you might say, "Hey, crazy lady, that's a little over the top," but let me let you... If you spent almost a year of your life creating something that was initiated in love and respect with a co-conspirator and then some Joe-Schmo off the street told you that your masterpiece was really a piece of garbage, you would lose your mind too. {Also, my "masterpiece" is adorable and shares my DNA so I am allowed to get extra cranky}.

I've also learned that everyone has an opinion about how YOU should parent YOUR child. If I've learned anything {which I have, if you read the 2nd paragraph of this post you will remember} from the past 3 months it's that you have to do what works for you, your kid, and your family as a whole. So, hey, if I want to hold my baby while she cries instead of letting her "cry it out" {side note: Although this idea was introduced by Ferber, he never actually used the term "cry it out"} then I'm going to hold/rock/sing/bounce/sway to her all I want {and then I'm probably going to thank God that a) I'm not your kid and b) judge you}.

But, the most important lesson I've learned is to just laugh. If you're too serious you'll die. OK, fine, you probably won't die, but you won't have very much fun living because you'll be crying. A lot. Having a daughter {or child in general} makes you really realize that laughing is the only way to make it through the hard days. Sometimes your kid is going to cry all day and sometimes she's going to throw up on you right after you shower so you have to shower again, only to repeat the process like 3 more times. And you know what? That's cool and it's funny and even though it's been a short period of time, I can already look back and say, those were some good/crazy/memorable moments.

So, Happy 3 months to my little bear, the sweetest girl I know, my heart. Mommy loves you so much, Peyton. I can't wait to watch you grow!

Reflections

I can't believe it's already been one month since we brought our little Sweet P in to the world. It's been an adventure, to say the least. The memory of how painful labor was is beginning to fade {although I'm not sure it will ever go away completely} and I'm starting to believe that my body WILL return to its normal state.

I was re-reading past blog posts that I wrote while I was pregnant and I'm going to re-visit one as a means of my continued reflection.

Eating/Cravings: Sometimes it's hard to remember that I'm not pregnant anymore and so eating whatever I want, whenever I want, cannot continue. I know that breastfeeding burns like an extra 500 calories/day but I want to make sure that I'm eating healthy for both of us. Also, if you base your caloric intake on the recommended 2,000 I would need to eat SO much more. I would be stuffed full all of the time if I tried to do this. Not gonna happen.

Weight Gain vs. Weight Loss: At my final weigh in {a.k.a. the hospital in Labor & Delivery} I had gained 38 pounds and at my 2 week postpartum check-up I had already lost 30 of it - WHHAAAATT?! I know, crazy! I'm pretty sure that the majority of it was baby and water weight in my feet but it made me feel good that I only have 8 more pounds to go. I'm going to try and shred an additional 10 while I'm at it. We'll see how that goes.

Comments: "You had a baby?!" Yes. Yes, I did. "Did it hurt?" {in reference to labor} No, it was the best feeling ever. YES, IT FREAKING HURT! DUH! "When are you having another one?" Seriously? I just had this one. Can I get a minute? {Also, not for a while}.

Fears: Everything, but mostly germs. I am so scared that she is going to catch something. I mean, even a cold would be devastating for such a tiny human without any vaccines or immune system. Oddly enough, I'm not as scared of SIDS as I thought I would be. I thought I would be up all night staring at her to make sure she was still breathing, but, nope. Don't get me wrong, it's still a fear, I'm just not irrational about it.

General Mood: In general, I feel pretty good. Some days are better than others but I try to remind myself every day how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family. I have so much more than most people will ever have and remembering that is humbling. 

Things I Was Surprised By: How much of a mom I became and how quickly. I can already see myself being a "helicopter mom" so I'm glad that I married a guy that reminds me to chill out once in a while. I was also surprised how quickly I adapted to a minimal amount of sleep. Sleeping for 2-3 uninterrupted hours is now the best feeling and generally leaves me feeling rested. 

Things I'm Most Looking Forward To: Each milestone is going to amazing. I can't believe that we're already at one month. I know time is going to go way too fast and as hard as having a newborn is, I have to remember that these moments are fleeting. 

What I Think Is Really Cool & Crazy: I pushed a baby out of me! I honestly doubted myself for a while, but I did it and I rocked it! Every time I look at her and think about the fact that Brian and I made a tiny human, I cry. She's absolutely perfect and I couldn't be happier that she's mine.

I'm sure I have a million more things to say but Ms. P has a doctor's appointment so I'll end this for now with some pictures...

The Mommy Diaries

Day 1... OK, well it's not technically day one of this child-rearing business but it is my first day alone, all day, with Ms. P and what a day it has been. I will start off by saying that she had the best/easiest night in her short 4 weeks here on Earth. She slept 10pm-3am, woke up, ate, and went right back to sleep. Peyton for the win! But today, TOTALLY different story. She is either making up for the sleep she got last night or she's got a case of the Mondays . Either case, I feel as if I'm being tortured very slowly today. I know we're both tired {I'm simply emotionally exhausted at this point} so why doesn't she sleep?! I'm pretty convinced that my daughter has FOMO {fear of missing out} which she no doubt inherited from her mother. All I can do is give it my best shot, right? Brian says I get a gold star in the mom department. Let's just hope Little Nugget feels the same way. Perhaps tomorrow we'll make it outside of the house. {Hey, a girl can dream!}

Best. Day. Ever.

Life has been busy for the past week so I'm behind on posting here but I promise I have a good excuse...

On Tuesday, June 11, 2013 we welcomed our sweet girl, Peyton Grace Aldrich to the world! She was born at 3:36pm and weighed in at 7lbs 8oz. {I'm so glad she wasn't 9lbs like we thought!} She has a mess of hair and it the cutest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Needless to say, Brian and I are completely in love and spend pretty much all of our time staring at her {yes, even if she's sleeping}.

Our schedule has been a little different each day but we're {slowly} getting the hang of things. She usually sleeps about 2.5 hours at a time which means we're more rested than we thought. Brian had to go back to work this week which left me at home with the nugget and her grandma. {Shout out! - Thank God for grandmas}.

It's true what they say, you've never felt more in love than you do when you finally have your baby. I don't think I've ever been more in love with anyone in my entire life. We're obsessed. More to come.

More Maternity Photos

Today I got a CD with all of our maternity photos on it! I was so excited it took me about 10 seconds to rip the envelope open and pop the disc in to my laptop. Below are some of my favorites. Thanks again, Kels!!!

              

The Countdown

The past few weeks have felt like they are dragging on and on. It's probably because I'm so excited to meet Tater but it could also be because I'm so uncomfortable. Yup, I've reached the stage of non-human existence. I'm still a member of the Mammalia species, but it's safe to say, I'm a whale. Walking is a thing of the past. I now waddle to-and-fro while Brian "quacks" behind me {No, seriously, he actually makes quacking noises when I walk}. And to be honest, even waddling is getting a little rough with the size of my ankles. {Check out the picture below}. I keep reminding myself that soon this will end and my body will once again be mine and I won't even care because I'll have a daughter and it will be AWESOME!

If my feet are this big, how big do you think the rest of me is?

In other news, I went to the doctor today {visits are now weekly} and had the last of my tests done. Today was the Group Strep B test and a cervical check. Let's just say, I wouldn't sign  up for the cervical check any time soon. I mean, comparatively {you know, to like, say, labor} it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't my idea of a good time either. He also did an ultrasound to double check that she's still head down and ready to go. Not only is she head down, she is like WAAAAAY down. While we were ultrasounding he decided to measure her size {weight, length, head size, etc.} Agreeing to have these measurements done was the biggest mistake I've made today. Turns out, our "little" girl isn't so little. In fact, she's off the charts! She's estimated to weight just over 8 pounds and her size is on par with a baby who is 41 weeks, 5 days! I don't know how much bigger she's going to get but technically we still have 3.5 weeks to go. Yeah, terrifying to say the least. Doctor also told me that I shouldn't expect to be pregnant too much longer, but we'll see how that goes.

Hurry up, Tate! We can't wait to meet you!!